‘Ticket to Ride’ and pickle sandwiches: The family life behind Abigail Spanberger’s campaign

This story first appeared in Dogwood

On Nov. 4, Democratic candidate Abigail Spanberger hopes to earn the title of governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia, but there’s another role that will remain even more important to her: mom.

Spanberger and her husband, Adam, are the parents of three daughters in public school: sixth grader Catherine, ninth grader Charlotte, and Claire, a senior in high school. They are all cheering their mother on in her race against Republican nominee Winsome Earle-Sears.

As a candidate, Spanberger is driven by the desire to improve the lives of all Virginia families. It’s no surprise, then, that her own family’s support has been central to her political career. 

When Spanberger, then serving her third term as representative for the 7th District, first considered running for governor, she made sure that her daughters were on board with the idea.

“I had some really thoughtful conversations with my oldest daughter, who was very, very sweet,” Spanberger told Dogwood in an interview. “And when we were talking and having family discussions about, ‘What do you think about this? This would be disruptive to all our lives,’ she said that she really wants Virginia to have a very good governor who cares about kids and focuses on education. And she said, ‘I think you would be a very good governor.’”

Spanberger said her daughter added: “So while it would be weird to have my mom be governor, we need a good governor, and you’d be a good governor, so I think you should do it.”

Claire noted to her mother that because of her role as 7th District representative, Spanberger was already frequently recognized in public.

“It just means that there are more Targets where you might get recognized.”

Spanberger appreciates her daughter’s “very, very sweet perspective to recognize that already my role as a congressional representative has created some interesting experiences,” such as when her family is out and they stop to talk to constituents.

Balancing family and politics on the campaign trail

Despite the changes to their normal family activities, Spanberger said that all three of her daughters have been “very, very supportive” of her race for governor.

“So far, so good,” she said. “They think it’s been an interesting adventure.”

The gubernatorial race is just the latest adventure for Spanberger’s kids, who often kept her company on congressional campaign outings.

Spanberger, a former CIA intelligence officer, first stepped into the political world when she decided to run for Congress against incumbent and Tea Party Republican Dave Brat in the 2018 election. 

At the time, protecting the Affordable Care Act (ACA) from Republican attacks was her priority. 

The Republican House, at the urging of then-President Donald Trump, had voted on a proposal to overturn the landmark health care legislation, which expanded health insurance coverage to all Americans. The ACA was only saved by Republican Sen. John McCain, who famously rejected his colleagues’ attempt to overturn the ACA with a thumbs-down on the Senate floor. 

Another shock was waiting for Republicans when Spanberger defeated Brat by 6,800 votes. Her victory made her the first woman to ever represent the 7th District.

Because of their experiences on the campaign trail during Spanberger’s Congressional campaigns, the congresswoman’s three daughters are no strangers to politics. “For my 10-year-old, it’s all she’s really known,” said Spanberger. 

And her constituents are no strangers to her kids, either. Memorably, when she was just 4, Catherine ran up to her mother on stage, mid-victory speech for her 2019 congressional reelection. Catherine crawled beneath the podium and peeked out between her mom’s legs, charming the crowd.

Without missing a beat of her speech, Spanberger expertly bent down, pulled Catherine up onto her hip, and held her there for the duration.

An onlooker tweeted: “The strength of a woman is simply miraculous! Congresswoman-elect Abigail Spanberger rocking motherhood while giving her victory speech!”

Another tweeted: “That’s what great working moms do!”

Spanberger’s two older girls, who also joined their parents and sister on that election night, still remember the “before Mom was in politics” days. This motivates Spanberger to prioritize family time, which she calls “sacred.” 

She credits her husband, Adam, “a wonderful partner in all of this, a wonderful parent,” for making her life in the pressure-cooker world of politics “much easier.”

“If we’re going to do a movie or game night, or I’m home for a relaxing family night, I try to put the phone away and I don’t check email,” she said. “But it’s pretty much the same as any working parent trying to find that level of balance.”

Her favorite game to play with the family? Ticket to Ride. “But I usually lose quite terribly whenever I play,” she said.

Another favorite for this native Virginian: Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. 

“Dill pickles and creamy peanut butter,” she said. “It’s absolutely delicious.”

Despite her daughters growing up in the political limelight—a spotlight that will only intensify if the latest polls are right and she wins the governorship—Spanberger said they live like “normal” Virginia kids, attending public school just like she and her husband did.

“I guess the only difference is perhaps my kids may have turned on the TV and seen me when I was off on Capitol Hill or something like that. But when you believe in what you’re doing, I think it makes it much, much easier, which is certainly the case for me.”

And Spanberger’s daughters are clearly familiar with Capitol Hill. When she was a congresswoman, she commemorated daughter Charlotte’s visit to the Capitol on her birthday with a photo of the pair at the top of the dome in matching hot pink jackets.

From public schools to gun violence, parenthood guides her platform priorities

Being a mom has inspired Spanberger’s determination to improve Virginia’s public schools, to protect the state’s children from gun violence, and to protect the reproductive rights of the state’s daughters.

When visiting a school, she “had a seventh grader ask me about lockdown drills and the worry, trauma, and hurt that we are inflicting on our children every time there is a lockdown drill at their schools,” she said.

“It’s our responsibility as adults to protect them, and we can.”

Spanberger points to safe storage and red flag laws that the state legislature has moved on, but she would also like to see waiting periods imposed before firearm purchases and magazine capacity limits for assault weapons.

A public school grad herself, Spanberger said she’s focused on hiring more teachers to end Virginia’s longtime shortage and to prepare each child for success after graduation—“whatever that might look like for that child.”

She said it’s time for Virginia to have a governor focused on improving the learning experience at schools instead of banning books, bullying LGBTQ kids, and demonizing teachers.

Raising three daughters has only strengthened her resolve to protect reproductive freedom, an effort that’s taken center stage as the Commonwealth considers legislation to enshrine reproductive rights in its constitution.

For Spanberger, politics and people can’t be separated—she’s driven by a desire to secure better lives for all Virginians and their families.

On International Women’s Day last year, she took to Instagram to post:

“I’m proud of my three daughters. They are strong, they are kind, they are curious, and they have bright futures. As Virginia’s next governor, I will make sure that all young women and girls have the opportunities they need to succeed.”